It does seem like we have been laying into angry or difficult partners lately – so much so, you (almost) gotta feel sorry for them! (not really, we all know how difficult they can really be and how much time and positive energy they eat up) – 3 recent posts attest to this:
- Difficult partners – what not to do
- What to do with difficult cogs in a partnership
- Angry babies and difficult partners have a lot in common – some EQ tips
My partner Gerry Riskin, founding partner of Edge International provides another perspective in “Defusing the bomb – dealing with difficult partners” (PDF) in our Edge International Review.
The harsh reality is that you have to deal with truly difficult partners - otherwise they are a lighted fuse waiting to go off in small bursts or maybe, at some stage in a severely damaging implosion.
In his inimitable style Gerry deals with:
- the importance of communicating directly;
- the importance of listening and trying to understand the perspective of the partner concerned;
- making an effort to get them to understand the (negative) impact they may be having;
- extracting an undertaking for them to be more cautious in expressing their views;
- asking them to limit expressing negative views;
- in some cases maybe even holding certain meetings without the difficult partner present;
- considering whether the behaviours are such as to warrant medical or other outside professional assistance;
- the necessity, sometimes, to address the matter full-on and issue an ultimatum;
- the fact that sometimes, expulsion may be the only option; and
- the problem of avoidance and the necessity of overcoming this.
all the best, Sean Larkan, Partner, Edge International
